ON FOSSILS & ARCHEOLOGY

This Friday is my opening reception for my “We Will Be Fossils Someday” exhibition, which will only be up for two nights. I will have 20+ paintings on display, none of them shown before, including botanical work from 2023.

When I think about fossils, I first think of memories of Mesa Verde with my grandma. We spent a week in a yurt at Crow Canyon Archeological Center learning about Pueblo history and indigenous archeology. This trip is one of the best memories I have with my grandma, and there were many. She was always deeply curious about ancient human culture and Native American history. I believe it was emotional for her, like a lot of things were for her. She was a sympathetic person who felt deeply for other living beings and their suffering, and she also had bipolar disorder.

I think I have the same emotional pull towards learning about the past. I also have bipolar disorder and am driven by my feelings sometimes, which has taken me a long time to accept. For so long women have been seen as weak for their compassion and caring tendencies, seen as more of the body than of the superior mind.

We now know that there is no hard boundary between the mind and body. And I have come to believe that all humans are motivated by emotion, even those who claim to be only logical. Maybe logic has a relationship to ego, which could be seen as a reactive and emotional force. I think as a species we can be so arrogant and short-sighted. As white Westerners in particular, we have a history of devaluing and destroying anything or anyone seen as “other”. We have been truly brutal to the land and its other occupants, and that brutality still has consequences and continues to unfold every day.

As it relates to animals, how could we be so confident that we are smarter than all the other creatures around us? Isn’t it silly to think there is only one kind of intelligence? We can be so self-centered.

I think beauty is an emotional experience that motivates a lot of people, even if labeled as superfluous, or even if the urge for beauty is channeled in toxic ways. If we could find beauty in more than the obvious, maybe it would bring respect as well, and a desire to conserve. There is so much beauty in biodiversity and in species other than us. There are so many surprises out there, so much we don’t know. We can’t even know how much we don’t know.

I love learning about the mysteries of existence, even if I know I will barely scratch the surface in my lifetime. I find it somehow reassuring to think one day we will be fossils, evidence of life long ago. There is a stillness to the idea that makes me less fearful of death. It is one way to see beauty in death. Impermanence makes life all the more precious.

P.S. Miss you, Beemee